Two steps forward, one step backwards
Do you find yourself starting and stopping? Does it feel like you are chasing you tail? Do you feel that every time you have some progress you end up where you started?In this episode you will learn:
- How to break the cycle of starting over
- What to do when you fail in your effort to change
- How to use your failure as fuel to your progress
- How your compass of why and where can help you start over faster
0:25 In this episode
0:52 What it takes to move forward
1:20 Stop chasing your tail and moving in circles
1:43 Learn to break the cycle by starting
2:44 Are you demoralising yourself when you fail?
3:01 Learn to be consistent and positive even in failure
3:11 Get back on the bike
5:28 Break and create consistency
6:10 Change comes with resistance
6:50 Replace old behaviours with new ones
7:16 What is your why? Why are you moving forward and why are you stopping?
7:50 Pain and fear can be a motivator or a deterrent
8:11 What are your obstacles?
10:21 Life isn’t perfect (Perfectionism)
11:03 Positive self talk
11:24 Avoid focusing on the drawbacks too much
11:46 Focus on where you are heading and your progress
12:42 Use your self-talk to your advantage and benefit
12:48 What do babies and learning how to walk have to do with your growth?
13:34 Don’t focus on the falling, focus on the walking!
13:43 Admire your progress because without the forward you would have made it through
14:13 Learn to be content with where you are
14:56 In summary
16:15 Keep pushing forward
16:45 This too shall pass
17:15 Churchill quote
17:48 Sign off
Have you ever found yourself starting something, perhaps something new. And then after a little bit of time you find yourself back to where you started? Would you be trying to do something from while trying to progress, but every time you progress just a little bit, you just stop to where you started.
In this episode, we’re gonna look into how the folks in the now how to learn to use or progress to our advantage, how to let go of the drawbacks, and actually use them as a fuel for our progress.
Welcome to another episode from inside treasures. My name is Phoebus and I love to challenge myself and those around me for the purpose of growth. This podcast is about helping you to heal, to change and to grow.
By listening to this episode, you will find out what it takes in order to take two step forwards a monster backwards and how that actually is not limiting but it actually propelling you forward to your goal to your vision of the south and you want to be the changes that you want. You can make those changes by allowing yourself and understanding that sometimes there are drawbacks. Sometimes we go a little bit backwards.
The key is not to get stuck in the fact that we went backwards and actually focus on moving consistently forward. When we feel like we’re chasing our tail, and we’re going round and round and round and round, we’re going into circles. And circles can be amazing.
But when it comes to progress, when we’re starting something new when we want to drive ourselves forward, and we keep finding ourselves coin back to what we were doing, then we’re not going in a linear fashion, we’re not going towards the direction want to go. But instead, we feel like we’re ending in the same spot. trick with that is to actually learn to break the cycle.
Learn to move forward again, learn to do the steps that you did in order to start your journey, whatever the journey is for you, by learning to do, remembering how we’ve broken the journey, how how we’ve broken the cycle in the first place, and we can Repeat and take the same steps.
Now those steps will start moving us forward. But again, there’s a big possibility that we’ll end up to where we started. So later on, we’ll understand what it is and why and what makes us go back to where we started.
Alright, key is momentum, it is movement. Key is starting, whatever those steps were that we took in order to start and move forward. When we fall back on when we go the full circle, so to speak, have to start again. From that point. Sometimes, yes, we’ll need to have the same strength, sometimes even more, because we’ve learned to demoralize ourselves after failure.
Some of us have learned to actually when we move forward, and then we fail our failures. Oh my goodness, there’s another circle that just relapse I’ll never make it. The key is consistency. The key is when our foot goes backwards. Make sure we get in a position in order to take two steps forward. I remember years ago when I was a teenager, we went around with my friends. And we managed somehow to run some motorbikes. And we had fun.
At first, I wasn’t driving much, but then slowly, slowly, I want to try a little bit as well. And then one day, you’re like five people. So we need to do an extra journey. And I decided that I was going to go, but I was hoping rather than come as well, what happened is my other friends said, Well, I won’t come and you go by yourself. We only need one person to bring one person. And I thought, fair enough, I’ll just go get them.
I was driving towards the main road. Then I stopped, got ready. Look at the cars coming. And then I thought, okay, now I can go. I was also rushing in a little bit. So what happened is, I fell off the bike. And when I fell off the bike, I got really frightened. I thought what happened was looking at myself had just a couple of really small scratches because I wasn’t going really fast or anything. But what happened is it triggered my fear that there was danger, imminent threat. So I got afraid.
But I did was I moved to the side of the road. And then I called my friends. And I said, Come because it just fell. They came. And I remember something that stuck with me. Then my friend said, I understand that you were afraid. Right now you have to get back on the bike to drive it. The lesson there was to get back on the bike, a lot of times, fall off, probably have to get back on the bike. We have to keep going.
We can’t be afraid of all the things that come our way of other fallacies for the drawbacks that get in our way. Because he said then you don’t get back on the bike now. You’ll forever be afraid of it. I decided despite the fact I was a bit in shock. I was going to get back on the bike.
That doesn’t mean I was going to be foolish on the bike was willing to get back on the bike. And that’s what all of us need to be willing to do. We’ve got to be willing to get back on it. wherever that is, whatever the progress we’re having, we’re having a drawback.
So we’re back on the bike, one step backwards to step forwards. That’s the lesson of consistency. In one sense, we have to learn to break consistency, which is our old habits are all patterns are all behaviours, which again, they’re consistent. They’re repeatedly done time after time after time. And that’s what puts us in that spin.
That’s what keeps that momentum keeps us going back. Because we’ve had that consistency of behaviour. in whichever area in your life you want to think of. We have been doing things and have been doing things certain ways while they turn in relationships, where there is enough finances and we build those habits. work, and those habits actually control our life, because they’re consistent. So the minute we’re willing to break that consistency, we meet with resistance. Now we want to build a new consistency. And that, of course, requires time. And time is a funny thing.
Because the truth is, we really go into it. There is only now, we only got now. Now, now, and now, this is sort of lived. But now, there’s also so long left. It just doesn’t we have the ability to go back and forth in our minds and link time, which is amazing. And it can work to our benefit. And also you can work backwards can only go bad habits of all behaviours with new ones.
A lot of times we’re thinking of her behaviour that we don’t want, and we solely focusing on that the thing that we don’t want, but instead we can begin to focus on other things, there are things that we can do that take us some way that we can do within five minutes thinking about it, what else can I do instead of this?
What is it that I want to do in order to move forward? Next thing on progressing and moving forward? Why? Why is very important, not only to understand why you moving forward, and also, why you failing, why you’re turning back? What makes you go to the beginning, there is a force, there’s something that leads you to go back to where you started. And, more importantly, why is it that you want to move forward?
That creates some kind of tension, some kind of pain. Don’t be frightened of pain, embrace it. Pain for some people can act as a deterrent, something that says, I’m not going this way, the same with fear. But for others, it’s a motivator. Not to be masochistic, but it’s something that says actually being hear her so much that I want to go somewhere else.
And that somewhere else is over there. I mentioned earlier, what are your obstacles? What is it that gets in your way when you’re progressing tied to rails you and send you back to the beginning their patterns into that there are patterns that occur again and again. But as you moving towards that direction, when sometimes when you have enough momentum can lead you to turn around and go back off times about uncovering beliefs. What is it that you believe about a situation? What is it that you can believe in order for it to drive you forward?
What kind of pictures are we making our mind? Kind of things? are we telling ourselves that actually helping us progress? Because a lot of times the self talk that goes around our minds, the images that go around into our minds, actually leading us backwards, and we have to be again, aware because when we have this beliefs, when we have This obstacles are they take place best believe that when the train is moving forward, going to be derailed. That will lead us to where we started.
Like I said earlier, we just need to get back on the bike and keep going. And again, if you’re counting on your progress of how far you’ve gotten by how many days talk counting. Like I said earlier, there is only now there’s only today. Candle time is important. What do you want to make sure is that every single day that you show up in this world, you actually putting on a new pattern, not on the old one, you’re doing the new behaviour, not the old. If you have that fallback of doing the old behaviour.
You can readjust on the day readjust on the date. The sooner we get back on track, the better way sooner we keep repeating the new reality. More it will stick At the same time we’ve had progress and our progress, we cannot negate it. If I’ve been doing something for like a month, and then I fell in one day, and I really negate a month because I went back into behaviour because I had a fallback. And another concept that comes up is perfection. We think because we’re starting something, we’re going to be doing something new.
Everything is going to go to plan, everything is going to be just perfect. And everything has to be perfect. Once there’s no point in our progress, there’s no point in our change. Again, that’s a fallacy of belief, everything will go so ever smoothly. I will be so good and Nothing will go wrong. And we just be you know, friction free. Which is get there which is progress in life tend to be like that.
Life is full of friction Life is full of during life is about starting to go one place and ending up another. These are part of life. Life is not perfect and Another important element of moving forward when we have drawbacks is actually to learn how to visualize and how to speak positively to ourselves. Because a lot of times, like I mentioned earlier, we go back into instead of empowering ourselves on, instead of congratulating ourselves on the progress that we made, we’re actually focusing again on the drawback.
Why this again? Why me again? Why did I fail again, why did I make this mistake, again, is that kind of negative self talk, and instead of propelling us forward, is keeping us stuck to going backwards. And that want to be cautious of, because that’s what causes the spin. That’s what causes the cycle. That’s what causes us to keep going.
Where do we want to be focusing on? Where are we heading? Why do we want to be focusing on showing up today? Why do we want to be focusing on doing the right things for us? Notice the drawback, notice going back, and then we focus very quickly to move in. for understanding what it was that drove drove us back, then focus on the behaviours that we want to be having focus on behaviours on the future of the Now, what is it? focusing on how you can show up and guess understand what happened? And why when you can also do that in a positive way. We can all learn to do in a positive way.
We can have a positive self talk, talk, that actually encourages a talk, of course, so that actually is loving, it’s caring. I talked, I can help us and it can play a major role in our internal psychology. Learn to use the way we speak to ourselves or advantage and our benefit.
The baby falls when the when they’re learning to walk and crawl. Long goes about shouting at them saying why you know, walking, what’s the matter with you? Why are you doing this again, one is actually very loving variant. encouraging, you can do it. We all have that attitude. Come on, you can do it. Because we have the belief in certainty for most babies that are just about to walk. The fist is so fascinating.
This is so exciting, and they can make it happen. And they will make it happen. That kind of clarity, kind of vision. And don’t we articulate that we give a positive tone. We don’t focus on the tripping. We don’t focus on the falling on the walking out of being positive with ourselves and not diluted but saying I’ve had this progress.
And this has been an important progress. Because if you take me a week ago, a month ago, six months ago, actually never even had that progress. And that’s a concept to keep in your mind. When you start a new behaviour, and you manage to do it for a while. If you have never started you will have never had, you will have never seen it when you start and do something inconsistently, then you begin to see that it is possible. It is possible to keep doing that behaviour and learn to be content.
No learn to be content with where we are. One thing that I see in our society in general, including myself, is that we’re not content with where we are. We all want to be somewhere else. We all want to do something else. I’m not happy with this. We’re not happy with that always thinks or we’re not happy with it. So that’s a generic practice of being content with what is we’re not saying, I can’t change.
There’s nothing to do to be content where I’m on never tried to do things. It’s about being content right here right now. Our effort is our progress with who we are, and the things that we can do. In summary, learn to be consistent. Find the drawbacks, despite the moving backwards. Learn to Focus on moving forward. Yes.
Understand what are the things that take you backwards. Keep moving forward. Keep repeating positive behaviours, positive beliefs, and reaffirming new realities into your life. keep showing up the way you want to show up and being the person you want to be where your why, because the you can drive you remember where you heading cars that will drive you. Like your compass is telling you which way to go, knowing your why and where be your compass, and then you will know whether you’re on track or off track. As your obstacles, understand them, uncover them, find the beliefs, find the behaviours, find the triggers, find the things that actually drive you, from where you were heading, back to where you started.
Remember, we can all be positive with ourselves. We can all be a little bit more positive, not self diluted thought were the best in the world. Actually, we’re okay. We’re good enough. We’re good enough to do the things that we want to do. The thing to remember, and the belief to build is to keep pushing forward.
And when we have a step backwards, we take two step forwards, we have another step backwards, we take two step forwards, that’s four steps back forward, and two steps backwards, two steps ahead of the game of where you were, when you started. And that’s what counts because when you do it with time, you end up going further away to what was into a new reality into the way you want to be. Remember, no matter the drawbacks, this too, shall pass.
And this is a belief that can help you go through anything, when you know within you with certainty that this too shall pass because everything changes and passes, no matter how long. You’re going to have to endure whatever it is you’re going through. You have the belief that guidance that tells you is too shall pass. This too shall change.
My friend Winston Churchill said, Success is a stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
Again, you see the key of consistency the key of moving forward. So, demoralizing ourselves, but actually with supporting ourselves, you seize that emotional drive behind it that can help us go in the direction that we want to go, to steps forward, one step backwards, we’ll keep moving forward, because that is the only way out.
Remember, I’m here to help you grow, heal and change. If there’s something that resonated with you. Something that you need help with. Give me a shout.
Please share this podcast with anyone you think may benefit Till next time, please guide your life love guide your heart and reason guide you
Photograph by Jakob Owens
Contribute to the podcast
Show your support towards the Inside Treasures podcast by giving a donation.
Starting from £1 - One-off or Monthly contributions