The key to our mental health
In this episode we are going to look into the emotional needs according to the Human Givens approach. This is the last episode on needs.
According to the Human Givens approach the ability to fulfil our needs deeply affects your well being, our happiness and mental wellness.
If your mental health is high on your list and you want to understand yourself more, you will want to listen to this episode.
The Human Givens model has been the most thorough model on needs that I have found. It is certainly not the last one. The model has been build upon researching and thoroughly understanding what it is that makes us humans.
According to the Human Givens approach we have needs and innate resources that we are constantly utilising in order to adapt in an ever changing world.
1:44 Emotional needs and well being
3:18 Human Givens Needs
5:25 Sense of autonomy and control
8:51 Emotional Intimacy
9:38 Part of wider community
11:45 Status within a social group
12:05 Sense of competence and achievement
12:41 Meaning & Purpose
14:05 Summary of Human Givens needs
14:32 Closing thoughts
16:38 Your chance to create your personal vision for next year
In the last couple of episodes, we have been talking about different models of human needs. And this is the last one of the series.
There are plenty more out there that we could follow. But that pretty much all come into the same similar conclusions.
The human Givens approach is an approach that I really enjoy following and also referring to so I often refer to it in my mind when I’m working with other people with coaching clients, or when I see something happening in a client’s life so I will suggest for them to go and look at it on a high level.
And then I also like for myself, so when I reflect with myself and try to find some relevance of the model in my life or from my life, some relevance and what emotional needs Am I not meeting haps Welcome my friends to another episode from inside treasures.
My name is Phoebus and I love to challenge myself and those around me for the purpose of growth. This podcast is about helping you to heal, to change and to grow.
This episode is going to be about a human needs according to the human Givens framework. The human Givens human give is an approach.
It’s a scientific framework and a psychological framework that we can use. It’s a way that the organized ideas, more holistically in order to understand the individual, the society and how we work.
It looked into neurobiology, and psychology, and even tension wisdoms. Twice human Vince like really resonated with me because it brings different ideas from different places.
The fundamental basis, the human Givens approach says the following. We all come into this world with a set of needs.
If those needs are met appropriately. We won’t suffer of any mental illness. Along with that we also come with a certain amount resources our own internal guidance program, together with our needs.
That’s what makes us humans. Human Givens consider them givens and drivers of the human nature, needs and resources that we come into this world and we all have bringing out all that together.
In its core saying, you’re all humans, we all have human needs. We all have certain guidance programs that we use on a day to day we use those things effectively. We’re meeting our needs.
We have a good being human Givens model tells us left behind promotional need. It’s nature’s programming for us to connect to the external world, particularly to other people, in order to survive in it.
According to them. Reason we suffer go through to stress, anxiety, anger and depression. nature’s way of ensuring we meet our needs. Human needs are a driving force the motivators to become fully human succeed.
Whatever environment we find ourselves in, physically and emotionally. You have been waiting for it.
So what are the emotional needs and human Givens? I’ve taken again, from us in different schools and one of them has been Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, but they’ll also look elsewhere and try to those distinctions and those similarities into the models.
The first one is the sense of security, which we talked about with Maslow, it’s about being in a safe territory in a safe environment, which allows us to develop only means that we feel safe.
We are feel safe. With those around us to feel safe for ourselves. Next one attention that we give it or receive it. Tension is a form of nutrition that we get.
That’s why we often see how we can stop other people from attention. We see it as a passive aggressive attitude, to take our attention away from people we see it as part of kids coming to us and us being on our phones and not giving the attention that we should and deserve to give them having that presence can give a tension but also receiving attention.
Tension is a gate connection. Tension helps us connect with other human beings creates a presence. It’s the eye contact.
So I’m here present fully with you that we can cultivate through mindfulness, paying attention to the people around us. World of distraction, basically stop being human. Because
give away that need for attention. We sell our attention to those who have hijacked 10 different apps, the television all those things are happening around us. Particular attention.
Attention is important. Give it all to make sure that we receive it doesn’t mean we always the center of attention, problems with that. It’s not for more nutrition, healthy form.
Of transacting with other people through the use of attention. Next one is the sense of autonomy of control. We’ve talked about this on this podcast before about the locus of control, where the control is about having volition to make responsible choices, meaning I can control certain things within my own life. That of course empowers us to be ourselves.
Having that good measure, control that feeling we have control over our lives. And the locus of control talked about what are the things that we can control, no control, and while we can influence times you can grow fearful because we’re not in control. We can grow passive.
It is about our perception as a need. That I can control certain situations are not just the standard things that I can do.
A lot of times in coaching and therapy is about helping people understand our perspective, see themselves as they have a say, in this situation, to certain things that they can do that they can control for themselves or for other people.
Otherwise we fall into the trap of the learned helplessness that there’s nothing I can do look at me I’m so small, I can’t do anything about it.
And of course that causes mental distress and any lighting can cause anger and frustration or feeling positive about our ability to cope with life and it’s adversities about resiliency and the things that we can do have significant impact. Our ability to cope.
We feel that we can control things. We’re more able to cope if we take that away from us. We lose that ability to cope with something I was reading part of doing the research for this.
He was talking about the ability to cope and he was talking about think breeding gory it was about torturing, I think back with like statuses or the Nazis. And there was the guy was being continuously tortured as part of him regaining some part of the control.
Was that when he would feel that he would actually think the torturing and the pain would hold himself for another minute or another 30 seconds, a sense of control, opting to go through this and cope with it.
No, it’s not a pleasant experience, but it shows only have that ability influence something when we feel that we have certain control.
There’s no control around circumstances around the situation. There was some control around the response. The situation.
Main thing to also take away from this is people have a responsibility and more day to day thing, have a responsibility to ourselves and we have a way of restoring that sense of control.
Sometimes we have to go through certain things but it can be difficult. It is not impossible, as long as we understand that we have a sense of responsibility for ourselves and to those around us and to those around us. Knowing that sometimes we just have to do whatever it is required rather than just being in bystanders sitting on the sidelines.
Since autonomy and control and be in charge of myself, the things that go on around me. I can influence things that I have an input in things at least I have an input in the way that I see them and the meaning that I create. Next one is emotional intimacy.
Not that at least one person accepts us totally for who we are. Now this can have a bit of air intake because some of us think that conditional love doesn’t exist. Some people try to unconditional love us.
The main thing is to get some emotional intimacy, going to human Givens model, someone this whole year for what we are emotional intimacy.
Remember that starts with ourselves. Trying to love ourselves and to be intimate with ourselves. isn’t a great, an amazing thing. We have it around us of if there are other people around us who care for our emotional physical and sexual closeness to bar feeling close to other people.
Next need has to do with us feeling part of the wider community sense of belonging that we talked about in different episodes that were part of a greater community and not just ourselves. It’s not only about me it’s about creating an OS
that sends the human Givens approach also talks about how are we helping other people, other people help us and we use off the load. So he also brings in that sense of contribution, but also receiving that contribution. Part of a result because we’re part of the greater group.
That sense when we’re helping others we’re also helping ourselves and we’re not doing it for the purpose of helping ourselves but between us a sense of contribution.
Of course, it will feed up into helping ourselves. Next one is privacy. It is the opportunity to reflect and consolidate an experience. The fact that we can take some time and be by ourselves.
In order for us to be able to reflect understand. Privacy is a huge need for me. I tend to try and find the space time by going away or by spending some time by myself. I know that he helps me, helps my well being then he helps me be a better person within the community within my family.
Because then I can give more I can be more I know that taking that time. For privacy is important. And I try put it high up on my list of the things to do for myself.
We don’t have time for privacy when we don’t have the space to just sit there and consolidate can suffer because we become into a passive mode. Live life things are happening happening happening whenever we get the opportunity.
Just take a breath. When we don’t get an opportunity to take a breath we start to suffocate, don’t be suffocate those around us begin to suffer as well. That’s why I find it important that we spend enough time in privacy to be yourself.
Spend enough time connecting with other people this it’s an idea. It’s about balancing the idea of having privacy and spending time with other people. Next one is a sense of status.
In a social grouping. We are where we need to be and we are serving a role within the social grouping of talking about earlier about the wider parts. of the community is creates that sense that we belong not just next need is the sense of competence and achievement.
I mean that sense of competence that we can do things and then we can achieve things that we have achieved things of course feeds into our self confidence and as feeling great about who we are a positive healthy way, not in an arrogant way but in a healthy way.
We’re feeling oh, I’m useless. I can make things happen. Of course, we’re not going to have best well being within us. We have that sense. Of we’re progressing, that we’re competent, are we building things that we’re contributing to other people, because our emotional needs are being met.
Last need not the human Givens covers is that meaning of purpose comes from being stretched to what we do. Think finding meaning, understanding purpose. What is the purpose of this thing and purpose are often intertwined sometimes about us creating that.
Sometimes it’s about us being able to reflect the things that happen finding the meaning and purpose behind them. Oftentimes we think the meaning and purpose is just what is given to us given to us from the outside from the world through deep reflection.
Sometimes it’s just about making up that purpose, meaning creating it because when we give it reason helps us to ground ourselves, even if that reason not true reason, even if that reason is made up and it’s diluting toppy because if it can help us move on to can help us be healthy in the present moments, then what’s the harm to get more clarity around it and about it? Creating meaning and purpose can help tremendously to our well being.
Linking back into control can also help us cope, to move on and to grow to heal and to change. Summary of the human needs according to the human Givens, a sense of security, attention to give and receive sense of autonomy and control, emotional intimacy feeling part of the wider community in time for privacy a sense of status within a social group.
Sense of competence and achievement. Meaning purpose. As you episodes have been about exploring different models about human needs in order for us to be able to understand yourself more and dwell deeper
to what makes us human to help us be ourselves into what helps us the better well being. The next couple of episodes will be about only just knowing that background information but actually dwelling into it and understanding ourselves and looking into the needs once or perhaps we’re not catering as much once that actually are creating and how that is helping us and empowering us when we take them away.
How that makes us crumble. These are the kinds of exercises that we’re going into all into first of all finding the needs. The emotional needs are really important writing high up because certain needs will be lower on your they will not matter as much they matter in the general sense, but they won’t matter as much.
So just finding what these are thanking them will help us but I will talk about that in the next episode.
We can help us go through this world with more ease and better wellbeing is all about well being mental health. My friend the Dalai Lama said no one is rich or poor, educated or illiterate religious or an unbeliever and a woman like white or brown are all the same.
Physically, emotionally, mentally equal. Those share basic needs for food, shelter, safety love. All aspire to happiness and we all son suffering of us has hopes worries, fears and dreams of us wants the best for our family and loved ones.
We all experience pain when we suffer a loss and joy when you achieve. We see this fundamental level religion, ethnicity, culture and language making no difference.
One more thing I’d like to offer you every once a month or whenever my open my schedule opens up to give my time in order to contribute to other people’s lives in order to give back to the community to give back to all of you who have been listening to me and supporting me.
But whenever I can I open up my calendar and I give away those so called strategy sessions, this time of the year kind of switch it around a little bit by the end of November and December to be really the preparation for the next year. Be about reflecting about the year that just passed by. Yes, we’re nearly at the end of the year.
It’s taking the time to reflect to what happened this year. Did I learn what were some great things that I achieved. Part of that is also about setting ourselves up for the next year.
Kind of setting the goals and the vision, the purpose that we want to have for the next year. If you’re new to this podcast, I’m a certified coach and I enjoy coaching other people and is part of what I do on my day to day.
Part of this review and goal setting session will be a deep dive it will be roughly two hours investment of your time.
There will be a lot of things that will come out of this you will learn a lot about yourself you will learn a lot about the year you will learn about the things have been getting in the way for you.
Now you can shift some things around and to get that high level view what has been going on, but high level view of how you want things to be about setting your vision, getting clarity on how you want things to be able to live a life of contention and to live a more life of clarity where it comes from you more proactive rather than reactive where it comes from you steering the life to where you want it to be like I said this sessions are meant as a gift to you.
I expect abuse to show up and to show up fully and that there are no strings attached. And whether you have like we did and you would like to continue we could explore that if we’re a good fit. If you like me and I like you and we can work together. If not, there’s no problem.
Keep going you get a clear plan about what it is that you want to be doing next year. He had a clear plan about what happened this year and the kinds of things that got in the way. session takes place over zoom and like I said it will be an hour and a half to two hours because we’re going to go deep into many things that happened this year.
Deep into the things that you want to create for next year. Have a handful of sessions available this coming week. If you’re interested in changing and growing. Commend that you book this call now.
Because sessions will fill up and they will fill up fast. You hearing this and you’re interested in this and this is resonating with you. You have to do in order to book go to insight treasures.com Go to the top right corner, click on the book or you can go to insight treasures.com/book click into the link in the description.
We’ll talk to you soon. I’m here to help you heal change and grow. If there’s something that resonated with you something that you need help with give me a shout out or reach out to me on Instagram at @insidetreasures
If you found any of those messages useful and insightful, share them with your friends and your loved ones. Allow the message and wisdom to spread to those around you because you never know how it will impact them.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode from inside treasures. My name is Phoebus and until next time my friends – let peace guide your life, love guide your heart and reason guide your thoughts!
Photograph by MI PHAM
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