Growth Mindset: Change one tiny step at a time by building hope at times of adversity
In this episode we will dive into Carol Dweck’s concept from her psychological research at Stanford University. It ties in nicely with the last episode on locus of control (Controlling what we can)
Fixed vs Growth Mindset
- Fixed: You are who you are, and there isn’t much you can do about it
- Growth: Belief you can cultivate your qualities through effort, everyone can change and grow through application and experience
Depending on the task at hand we favour one mindset over the other. Our work will be about uncovering when we operate from a fixed mindset. How we can challenge that and use the growth mindset to our advantage.
Our beliefs and mindset can dictate our life. They are powerful. By challenging them we can build hope and reclaim our control to stir our life to a better direction.
Do a change ever so slightly and see how your confidence changes. See yourself grow before your very eyes. Do it once and then repeat it again and again. You build an avalanche of small tiny changes. When you add things up they have power. A grain of sand has tiny weight, but if you keep adding grains of sand you will soon have something very heavy.
0:31 In the last episode
0:49 In this episode
0:59 Henry ford quote
1:07 Growth Mindset
1:20 What is the fixed mindset
2:01 What is growth mindset
3:49 Why Should we care about growth mindset
4:54 Excusing our narrative and living by it
5:52 Heraclitus & Inevitability of Change
7:24 Change reaction and attachment
7:34 Post hypnotic suggestions
8:42 Being in the back seat
9:49 This too shall change
10:30 Building hope
10:49 It will stop when we die
12:23 Identifying and attaching to a fake self
13:24 Hate the sin not the sinner
16:03 How can I change this idea that I am no good
16:19 Mindfulness helps us see emotions and thoughts as events
17:00 To Summarise: Attitude, belief and hope
18:09 Move to growth mindset with deliberate change
19:01 Will it be hard?
19:20 Make tiny minute changes
20:20 Avalanche effect
20:25 Grains of sand
21:02 Help your mind grow by the way you use it
Welcome to another episode from inside treasures My name is Phoebus and I love to challenge myself and those around me for the purpose of growth. This podcast is about helping you to heal to change and to grow by listening to this episode, you’re gonna learn about letting go of limiting behaviours and the weights of the past and allowing yourself to move freely in the present. In the last episode, we talked about one main thing, which was the locus of control, which we said was a simple idea whether we have control over things, or we don’t. We also talk about self efficacy, which was the idea of us having that belief that we can achieve something.
In this episode we’re going to talk about the growth mindset. Stay tuned, and find out how the two ideas can help us live a better life.
One of my favourite quotes is from Henry Ford, whether you think you can, or you can’t. The way you write. If you have the growth mindset comes from Carol Dweck psychology researcher at Stanford University. Spent the years to look into this notion of fixed versus growth mindset.
What is the fixed mindset. In short, fixed mindset. People believe that the qualities can be changed our growth mindset people believe that they can improve a fixed mindset person believes that the qualities are set path carved in stone there’s nothing I can do to change it. Yeah why we are there isn’t much we can do about it so we might as well, forget about everything else, because this is how things are.
Things such as intelligence personality and creativity, fixed traits can change them or develop them. But I can paint or no paint, how it is, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
That’s the idea behind fixed mindset, the other hand, growth mindset, the belief that we can cultivate our qualities, through effort, everyone can change and grow through application and experience.
So in short, a growth mindset is a belief that we can develop our abilities in a growth mindset, probably, their most basic abilities can be developed with dedication and hard work. Some of the criticism behind the fixed and growth mindset, is that people are actually somewhere in between. Another fully fixed mindset and in the growth mindset.
We’ll have a genetic tendency of how we view the world and how we see ourselves and we have that belief of things can change other people can change or we can have things out as they are and they will never change. That’s how they always been. That’s our generic outlook of life. In the fixed mindset limits our choices, and our outlook in life. It makes us a psychological incapacitate.
We want to do get through with this episode is, we can challenge it. Or we can identify the time somewhere in fixed mindset. Maybe your life is more maybe your life is less but being able to pick up. Say for example, I’ve been wanting to this podcast when I believe that there’s nothing I can do to actually achieve that. When I believe that I can’t use my voice or need all the gear and I don’t know how to work it now puts me in a six mindset. I put myself in the growth mindset,
tell myself when I can learn how to use the microphone and learn how to record, I can learn all those things I can learn how to speak, and you see the difference there. Learning and having that space that things can be learned. Learn how to deal with my emotions I can learn how to deal with others I can learn to be assertive I can learn to feel confident I can learn to be competent, I can learn.
You can apply it anywhere. Why should we can, we are and how we are is defined by our story. For example, the things that happen to us, especially when you have no control children. I think so we were just
subjected to, because this is what happened narrative in our life story. That’s who we are and how things are.
And clearly, honestly, there’s nothing we can do. There’s nothing we can do to change it means our control is diminished stories of people who’ve been through pretty bad times. And somehow made it through somehow become better people. Somehow spite adversity managed to get through. When we refresh this around. Then we start to believe that there are things within our control. We can do.
Now we can have a chance. Now we can do something about it. We have regained back control of the things just being on the way I am because I’m Greek. I am the way I am, because I was a third child, and the last child in my family. All those narratives. I’m the way I am, because someone said to me something when I was five years old. So narratives and the true and the very true to us and we have emotional attachments to them beyond a shadow of a doubt. I feel compassionate towards that. There’s more to life than being revolving around the story.
And for most of us so long ago but even today, if I’m just saying, I’m passing there’s nothing I can do today. What do you want me to do because I can change I can change where I was back to control what is it that I can change I find that look for that challenge, I believe, is there really nothing nothing nothing I can do.
What can I learn that can take me out of this situation. This brings me. Another concept inevitability of change. We’re constantly changing. Whether we like it or not, in nature. Reckless said under a free thing is always in a state of flux, everything is constantly changing. Everything is constantly in flow. I think he is.
He used to talk about the sun is not the same every single day, he would say that the river is constantly changing. The man who enters the river is not the same man, by entering the river before about the things that don’t change. I mean, my husband, my wife, they always do this one thing that gets into my nerves and, like, never change that will never change they have never changed my friend is doing this every single time I tell her.
When she always comes back like remember from the last episode, we talked about focusing on ourselves not other people, ethical back. Because when we’re looking at what other people are doing, we miss them we’ll be doing.
This is about you. This is about me, mentoring and knowing the things that we can do to change, can’t force, other people to change. We can help ourselves to change and take that responsibility for ourselves and taking on new situations that we can apply is changing how we react to the thing that’s happening.
I can, I can laugh at it. Then if they don’t change. So long as bothers me. I can detached emotionally. Danger reaction we change our attachment to that emotion that we have towards the action that’s been done, we’ll feel better. hypnosis, we have the concept of hypnotic suggestion, and that’s usually you pose seen him you’ve seen a show with him.
You call a scene, let’s say when I do this will happen. So when I click my fingers, you’re going to cluck like a chicken. Now raise my hand you’re going to take up issues like that. This is what happens program assaults over over. When this happens, I react this way.
This is an attitude that we keep running, and it gets automated them becomes habitual confuses us from the way we react, which is the opposite of what we do with mindfulness, just react we react, we react. It’s quick, just react is learning to take back control and say, this happened.
I don’t necessarily have to respond this way. Instead I can respond in a different way. Wouldn’t that be for you now. You see we can change the way we react to things. We have a choice. We do have a choice, maybe use we have might have momentum that leads us to a certain way, we can act differently. However, we write certain events in our life that put us in the back seat. Next this thing, truly, truly, there’s nothing I can do right now. You’re crushed by emotions, we get crushed by folks.
We feel so helpless. There’s no way I can do anything to change something I experienced an occasion when I had to drop out of university. It seemed like the whole world came crashing down on me to let go of a lot of things. And that’s why I went through an old suffering, the time. I really felt crushed by the emotions felt sad had a sense of depression, everything was gloomy. Disappointed disappointed I was kind of disappointed myself. The emotions I was going through.
I thought nothing I can do. Say that slowly slowly, after a bit of time, I think, to feel and think might be feeling like this right now, I might be feeling like this today. I know, I know this will change the moment as passive wasn’t taking control. I still have that belief. At the end of the tunnel, there is light.
The rain sun will come out again, just a matter of time, and it’s realizing, even when we are passive. There is hope I can, and we can build that we have that as believe that even how terrible things feel, and are right now yes they are terrible. He will change my tape, we think, a month, a year, 10 years, 50 years. Doesn’t matter. When we put that belief, when we can see when we can clearly see it there.
Then it becomes a reality for us, new reality, then we can slowly jump ship for a while here, we want to be. But I have been suffering with this for years. Yes, I’m sure you have, and it can change. Let’s agree on one thing will stop when we die, we agree on that. can we at least agree on that, whatever it is that’s bothering us, we die, it will cease to exist, will not escape the inevitability of death from that one day when I die, please. Well, and when you do that, I will live on this.
But how would you be without having that How would you feel this thing ceases to exist by now, instead of how to be more bitten by a chair. How would things change colour relief creates the perception. What is that’s been bothering us and hoping that and how life is.
A possibility. This can happen happen for me even before that, I can be there because we can already see the end result, we can see what it is that’s bothering us. What is the life that we wanted to be like visualizing that for life, helps us pivot makes that thing that’s been bothering us significant. You have something in mind sit there now. As a result, what would it look like, what did it feel like.
Up to this point haven’t been able to glimpse. This opens the window of our perception, having a look and helps us have a look. A new reality. We see the possibility in our mind, we can begin to work with it can begin to work towards it and make it real now. problems usually stem with us and identifying and attaching is not real.
We had had some things that are happening on trust. False emotions whatever is happening in the world. We are the things that we do. And then, associate that this is who I am. Because I do this, this thing defines me, it’s the other way around, we define the things we define the things that we do we define our emotions, and it goes back to the last episode, and the meaning we attach the things, some reference to self is obscured or distorted.
It helps us to think of selves in very limited ways, referring to the wrong self, and that self is changeable malleable. So we could try and define past ourselves into the narratives into the stories. Listen, who we are. Because I did something once or because it’s a habit of mine and I keep doing it, think of myself as that have a negative view towards God.
And that’s who I am. It’s a distinction in psychology and in teaching students and children. We should criticize, a behaviour and not the person was doing the behaviour. The sin, not the centre, because, one, for example a child knocks of glass and we say bad boy, girl. So she’s our actions to a whole being. As a pessimism bad because I dropped a glass of water. It’s not that I have time to think, don’t work out well.
Sometimes you have accident and we can work on that is, I as a being a bad person. We take this inside of us and we take this to heart is the same for the good thing, because we can learn to teach children that was a great thing that you did, because of this and this and that, and then to have a different view. We’ll have to inflate our egos and say look at me because I’ve done this I’m such a great person.
That’s the other way of doing, see how we can attach the negative because that’s this meaning. This meaning that puts us in there and say, This is who I am because I do that, the things that we do, I insert small fragments of time. Why should they define this topic last ones happen for a few seconds, picked up the mess. And that’s the end of it, prevent the one time event happens once every few seconds or a few minutes for a few hours.
Instead, what happens is about what I do, I’m still about passing because I dropped that glass. Once upon a time. Today, he was well as I go. Boy was just yesterday, a week from now it’s just a week ago. And then it’s 10 years before, but I’m still a bad person.
Because I believe in that. I’m not good enough. There’s nothing I can do. Because I dropped my class. It’s how we identify with a lot of our emotions and our thoughts, and we go back and back and back. And when we put them meaning.
We keep reminding ourselves that might be a point which we completely forget why we feel the way that we feel, why we think the way why we think looking back, most of the time, won’t change things. Today, because we might not be able to remember that we dropped like last feeling, but I’m a bad person. For example, I can remember it, understand what I’m experiencing right now.
I’m identifying with something that I’m doing on this device defining who I am. So how can I change this, I kind of respond to this How can I react to this finding that idea.
Other things that I can do building that space that does not why am I feeling like this I might feel like this right now, definitely doesn’t define me a mindfulness helps us with that because it helps us see what thoughts are just emotions just mental events, they come they go the rise they fall. That’s how it is not necessarily mean it’s who we are.
That’s how we build hope, because we feel we’re in a way, somewhere, we define ourselves, but we have that generic belief that things can change. And if they’re passive, both become active, we ask the question, what are the things that we can change. You can see this changes from things are just as they are fixed to, I can grow, and I can change.
Make things different summarize, we talked about attitude about belief about hope, what is the controller could do to change it. Problem is this belief of everything being fixed causing how much pain how much suffering, do I have Can you because I believe there’s nothing I can do. And if I were to challenge this myself myself right now.
Can I do differently, can I control, because we have a belief of fixed mindset. This is why I am put a halt on everything. Destroy all of our friends because we never again. There’s a creative genius within us, helping us resolve problems.
What we do is like the kid on the hand. We tell them to shut up, because there’s nothing we can do to change. That way we kill the engineering, all the playfulness. We can create in this.
What’s stopping us, not from thinking, we can change it, but that’s how I am. We close all the doors to any possibility of change, but things are fixed there’s nothing I can do about it. Those remain sharp. That is when we need to understand that we are operating for a fixed mindset.
We need to challenge it to the growth mindset, how having hope, but having belief that will change. Either way, doesn’t really matter, things will change. By participating in change, and actually accelerate a change. If I can find the things that I can change.
And I can really have some fun with this build and cultivate I believe that everything can change my attitude can change my emotions can change my thoughts can change, then my life can be brighter, my life can be better. And I can be an active participant. Just a bystander punches, a person in the train where everything is just passing by, I can drive my own life, I can have control for a lot of things that can help me a better quality of life wouldn’t be hard, it might be hard.
Will it be challenging. Yes. Will there be adversity. Yes, absolutely. Am I happy. Can I do it beyond belief. I make sure that at least I do my pain. Make my effort. Congress thanks and I believe, because even believing blindly. it doesn’t mean that this will help us change things. One trick that I try to remember to do, finding new changes life we talk a lot about big changes let’s make big changes or radical things that change the world around you. I want to meditate every single day I want to exercise 50 hours a day, impossible things because small, tiny, and see that little controller you exerted. It’s safe, maybe I am operating from a fixed mindset.
I’m just going to toy with the safety of course myself. Wanted to 111 tiny thing in a specific situation will happen. Different one tiny thing. When you do that, you will see yourself change will see yourself grow. The result won’t be huge. You believe the strength and confidence restored. When you have done it once. One little change, you can do it again because you’ve done it once, you can do it again.
And again. And again. And like an avalanche, it builds up with tiny little minor changes of change and behaviour as a grain of sand time we’re operating from a growth mindset, putting a grain of sand on the scale. Then we do it again and again and repeat it over and over again little grain of sand, change the way one little grain of sand too much for you. But when you add all those little grains of sand together.
And you do it again and again, over and over and over again. And you will see how that becomes more and more, and how the weight of the sun, becomes significant as Carol Dweck said, You’re in charge of your mind, you can help it grow by using it the right way. Share this podcast with anyone you think may benefit. Until next time, peace guide your life guide your heart.
Photograph by Lars Schneider
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