How to believe in myself?
Learn how to build your self belief from the ground up. Whether you think you go it or not. This episode will keep you on your top game.
Setting goals is not enough for us to achieve them. In this episode we will talk about 10 fallacies that show up when we go about achieving our goals. If you are having a hard time achieving your goals maybe one of these fallacies is the reason.
Listen to this episode and succeed at having your goals to serve you.
For many years, I failed at my goals. I kept setting them up but nothing was happening for me.
In this episode, I will take you over some of my personal struggles and blind spots. The aim is to help you achieve your goals without having to go through these hardships.
These have been blind spots in my progress. Avoid making the same mistakes like I did and move forward with your goals.
0:46 In this episode
0:56 Fallacy #1: Bucket list
1:54 Go on a goal diet
2:03 Fallacy #2 Goal competition
3:27 Fallacy #3: Wishful thinking
4:11 Goals have a price to pay
4:52 Fallacy #4: Lack of belief
5:34 Am I worth to have this, self-sabotage
6:14 Power of small action
6:48 Fallacy #5 when
7:21 Fallacy #6 over planning
8:24 Traveling between two cities
9:17 Focus on the next step
9:30 Fallacy #7 Lack of feedback
10:09 Working in silos doesn’t work
11:49 Fallacy #8: Comfort
12:22 What you don’t want to do is what you do need to do
12:59 Fallacy #9: Vagueness
13:34 Fallacy #10: Ego
13:54 Be satisfied with where you are
14:30 I accept and I am very grateful of where I am today
15:06 You have enough in your life
I’ve been setting goals for myself for many years. But that didn’t mean that I was actually achieving my goals that didn’t mean that I was taking action on my goals and with this episode.
I’d like to share with you 10 fallacies that come with setting goals, and how, being able to be aware of those fallacies we can actually tune in and better set ourselves up to be able to succeed with our goals.
Welcome my friends to another episode from inside treasures My name is Phoebus, and I love to challenge myself and those around me for the purpose of growth.
This podcast is about helping you to heal to change and to grow. And this particular episode is all about change and growth. And this episode, I’m going to take you through the 10 fallacies that our goals, and how being aware of those fallacies can actually empower us to succeed with our goals fallacy number one bucket lists.
What’s the problem with bucket lists, there’s this idea out there that a bucket list is where you just dump out all your goals and you’re thinking yes this is great I see my life I see myself doing this things are not going to be amazing bucket list bucket that you put to the side and you choose a few of your goals.
Not where you sit and action, all your goals. But you see this as like the too many goals we’re trying to achieve. And if we do that, and we think that our bucket list is our goal list.
We’re in trouble. Same thing happens when we said, yearly goals. Because we choose different areas of our lives. Kind of are there in the bucket list of witches have too many things, too many things we’re trying to concentrate on narrow things down your bucket list, find the things that are important for you in the near future.
And then focus on them, particularly if you’re going on a goal by it. You’re not going to be doing all your goals and just taking the ones that are more meaningful to you.
And that brings me to fallacy number two, which is called competition goal competition is when one call is competing with another your mind can only focus on a certain amount of things when its goal is trying to attract our attention.
We turn up going around in circles not really going very far with its goal, and we feel like there isn’t any progress. Because in our mind, we can see that I can do it all. Now, this is a great ability of our mind to be able to perceive the things that we want to be cheap now. But the problem comes, the time. Not like that time doesn’t work like that. In the real world, things take time, just simple as that. And there’s a cost two things.
So if we’re focusing on too many things. Know that you will be spreading thin and basically that will be diluting your focus, and the less focus we are on things, the harder is traction, the harder it is to push against our challenges.
And our mind will constantly go from one place to the other won’t be able to sit still and focus on what we’re trying to achieve the goals we compete with each other, and our time and energy will be dissected will start feeling weaker. Instead of feeling strengthened by achieving goals will start feeling weaker because we’re spreading too thin. Answer is keep focusing on very few specific things that they will bring you forward with your goals.
Lesson number three wishful thinking. Would be nice too. wishful thinking is all about dreams and goals are great. Dreaming is amazing. I’m a big dreamer, but the problem with that is one we just only dream. We’re not going anywhere, being conservative vision dream can serve as a vehicle to take us places of how we want our life to be and that’s part of like visualizing things but when we just wishing for things to happen.
It would be nice to then never doing anything about it. We think that these things will come to us. realities, to achieve any goals. There’s always a sacrifice, there’s always a price to pay. We need to be aware of that price to pay.
And when we need to put that skin in the game. Most of the times, it’s about putting in the time. Sometimes it’s finance or sometimes it’s just doing things that make us more and more committed. The idea behind wishful thinking is like can I avoid just wishing about this. And again, taking action, how can I stop thinking this.
This is a great dream is this like a dream that I would like to invest my time and energy. The kinds of fears that I have the things that will come my way am I willing to put in the effort to break through my own personal challenges. Yeah. Lesson number four, and this one is ambiguous, so please listening closely. It’s the lack of belief
and a lack of worth, lack of belief that I can achieve the goal, lack of belief that this call is achievable, all kinds of things I believe about myself about me being able to achieve this goal, the kinds of things that I think in my mind will be the problems the obstacles that come through in a way for me to be able to achieve that goal. This is huge. To understand that we’re worth it.
Okay, I believe in myself I will be able to do these things. What do I even feel that I’m worth it. Do I feel that I’m worth it to be in a great relationship and to be loved. I feel that I’m worth it to have money might be able to do the things that I need to to get into that relationship or into that business deal that pushes me forward with my goals.
There’s still a problem there, even when we arrive at that place. We haven’t changed internally, constantly sabotage things that will be because of our lack of belief or trust and self worth. The way that we feel from worth is there.
And the way that we feel like we can believe in ourselves. And in the things that we’re trying to achieve and solution for this is simple cultivate our belief, small way that I’ve always used is the power of small action.
Well this is really scary. I don’t believe in myself and don’t believe in what what’s going on out there I don’t believe I can achieve this, I can still consistently, do some small actions that they feel scary. They push back on me that I can feel the resistance and it sucks so badly.
I can actually do that little thing. And every time that I do this little thing, start to put on a little stone on belief on my scale. Then I start to say that I’m worth it. And then I start to see that I can make it fallacy number five. When will you do it. We don’t set a time. This is a planning issue.
so we fail to plan. If we know that there is a specific slot in a week in our day that we’re acting on this goal. Then we have identified that, then the next part of the problem is to show up in that slot. When we never set a time of one when we do things, even if it’s just like, it’s on a week on a month on a year, put on time and put in the time that you will take action.
And that brings me to fallacy number six, which is over planning over planning is huge thing in ourselves if I sit down and I make up the whole plan. I won’t be able to just sit down and execute. There’s a huge problem with over planning.
There’s too much analysis paralysis, to too many unknowns that we’re trying to figure out before we even start before we get out out the door. It’s great to anticipate things but when we’re just trying to figure, the whole landscape of where we’re going, where are we heading, it’s impossible for a mind to perceive these things and to keep track of them. We sit there and we plan, and we find walls and we find and dense and we
need to know every single detail, because we’re trying to build that certainty we’re trying to build a belief.
What can we do instead. Just let things go let things be set a few milestones that you know you’re going to hit, then move on from there and start acting. When we take action on the path when we walk the path path reveals itself, it will show us the next action. If I was to travel from city a to city B, I need to be able to know what kind of roads I’m going to take and I need to know what kind of places I’m going to be passing so when I’m driving I can have a look at the map.
I can have a look at the signs know kind of where am I, where I’m at what’s going on here how far kind of Am I can see city beats so many you know kilometers miles whatever that is for you. We have the certain milestones we know the destination the destination is the goal, a certain milestones the certain stops that we have.
We don’t have to know every single detail about every turn, about every road. Every tree, but it’s where they are, what kinds of signs on where where are the intersection. So these things are not needed. They’re not necessary.
Let them go let them be focused on the milestones down the big hole into a few small, manageable steps, and then focus on the next step, what’s the next step, what’s the next action.
That’s only what you need to care for the next time you go into your next slot that you’ve planned. You can just get in there, get some work done. fallacy number seven, lack of feedback. We need the feedback loop nature has feedback loops, everything has feedback loops, and we try to implement them into businesses.
Do you have feedback, have a way of knowing where you’re standing in your goal. You have a way of knowing that what you’re doing is right, or what you’re doing is wrong, quote unquote, what kinds of adjustments can you make. When you have no feedback, kind of guessing in the dark. You’re walking in the drive trying to figure things out, but still you don’t know where you are.
Feedback is sending some light feedback is about adjustment. Many years of worked into silos is like, I’m working on this, I’m not letting anyone know until this is finished and it’s out the door, the software industry did this for years and years and years they would build things and then ship them and then people were like well what is this, this is not even what we want this guy adopting different ways of getting feedback.
Shorter cycles of development, pushing things out and actually getting feedback from the customer base and getting feedback from the people that use it is crucial because again it’s about navigating and knowing where we are moving forward.
We need the GPS to know where we are, and where we’re going. We need our compass to be guiding us to know which direction I’m going to need the compass to keep telling me that I’m going north I’m not going south when I want to be going to north.
We have to be willing to go there to share things with other people accept the feedback that they give us, even if it’s critique. I used to love. I didn’t want anyone to say anything about what I was doing because it would kill my ankle, kill my belief, it will kill my dreams.
And of course again that had to do with how I perceived myself what other people said, there’s a lot of things that come into play. Now, I welcome feedback. The maybe the ties was my ego triggers off but in general is like, I need this feedback, because without the feedback I won’t be able to progress. What’s my goal, whatever that is that I’m dealing with.
I need to be able for someone to come back and reflect things on me. To make my own decisions thinks about things my own way and user feedback, and then to be able to weigh things so open up the feedback loops, share things with other people get fresh new ideas in Lesson number eight comfort.
Comfort comfort comfort. Why should I bother to do anything that’s uncomfortable when it’s so comfortable well. The question then is, why is that your goal. That’s a big thing that I was dealing with my life and setting goals.
How do you not want to get uncomfortable is like, this is lovely. I wishful thinking. Yay. Go ahead and do it but then it’s like, I don’t want to be uncomfortable. I don’t want to try. I don’t want to be challenged. but there’s a key to that.
These are the kinds of things that may, that will move you to who you are and the more of those challenges you take yourself. The more you will be able to grow and adapt. How can I challenge myself with this goal, because it’s already a challenge because it was, if it was something that was easy and I was able to do.
I would have done it already, but it’s going to require some effort, no doubt in your mind. Then is thinking, what kind of challenges can I set for myself I can go in and achieve by achieving those challenges. Again we build a belief in ourselves, we build that worth in ourselves.
It’s good to go through the challenge we adapt it just like when we exercise, our muscles begin to adapt
to in fallacy number nine vagueness is being too vague solution to that is simple. Be more specific, more specific about our goals, again without over planning by knowing what it is that we’re trying to achieve what it is that we want, and making that clear enough for us to be able to articulate it, make it clear in our mind of how we’ll be able to action.
Again, doesn’t have to be super detailed. It needs to be clear. To be more specific policy number 10. This one just goes down into our ego. This one goes about ourselves. It’s about the greed. It’s about this thing that we want more.
I want more from life, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a little bit more from things, and wanting to be in a better situation. But when it comes to the ego is about us having the ability to be satisfied also with where we are.
It’s important to be able to count our blessings. It’s important to nurture ourselves and now that we’ve done enough, we do enough in our day to day there’s a lot of challenges out there there’s a lot of things happening out there. Make that can make our lives hot. When we start to cultivate that satisfaction.
When we start cultivating that content, start to build in ourselves, and knowing that yes this this might be thing since you chase no one in my life. But I accept where I am today. And I’m very grateful for him today. To summarize this episode, certain things that will come your way, even when you set your goals through certain fallacies certain blind spots that we’re not aware of when we jump into that we might find ourselves running around in circles and wondering why is it that I set my goals, and I never to achieve them.
Sometimes it’s just for people to just set the bar too high, the bar needs to be high enough, again, it’s the challenge thing. It needs to be something manageable.
Also, it needs to be out there from us for us to be able to get motivated, but also doing that from a place of being content of being happy, of being satisfied on where we are, what we have in our life. Because most of us let’s be honest, we have enough in our life. And just paying attention to that and being aware.
I’m here to help you heal change and grow, if there’s something that resonated with you something you need help with, give me a shout at.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode from inside treasures. My name is Phoebus, and until next time, my friends, peace guide your life, love guide your heart and reason guide your thoughts.
Photograph by Jenna Anderson
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