Your internal hand break
Have you ever been in a situation that you want to change, that you want to act. Yet somehow you find yourself unable to do so?
Even though you really want to. You try, yet there seems to be an invisible force that is keeping you from acting, from speaking from creating.
This episode is for you!
We will explore limiting beliefs and their power over you.
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On our path to freedom we stumble upon an invisible limiting force. That force is often an irrational belief. A limiting belief, a negative belief.
That is the thing that is keeping you from moving forward. Like the hand break in the car it can keep showing up. It can keep tripping you in ways that leave you feeling baffled. And with zero progress.
This invisible force, you feel it, yet so often you are unable to understand what it is.
Would you like to uncover what is lurking in the shadows. Which beliefs keep you from being you?
- 0:07 But daddy, I can’t
- 1:51 Intro
- 2:08 Recap
- 3:02 Limiting and Irrational beliefs
- 4:17 We all have limiting beliefs within us
- 5:18 Limiting beliefs lurk in the shadows
- 6:29 List of limiting beliefs
- 7:15 Common irrational beliefs
- 8:18 Uncovering irrational beliefs
- 10:41 Uncovering an activating event
- 16:13 Albert Elis Quote on Irrational Beliefs
- 16:24 Conclusion
- 20:13 Outro
00:08 One of the main reasons that actually attract me to this industry was about working with myself. Working for myself
in order for me to learn to do better with life, to learn to cope with what was coming my way. And one of these
things was dating. Yeah, I used to struggle with dating a lot, and it was about I was just not being myself.
00:29 It was something that I wanted to happen in my life, but I just could not work it out. Because every time I walked
into that situation or liked someone, fancied someone and wanted to be with someone, actually, everything that was
wrong would show up. I would be operating out of fear.
00:46 And this is where a lot of limiting and rational beliefs were playing out. And this is why I’m using this as an
example. So in my mind, if you ask me directly and consciously whether I was aware of what was going on, I would tell
you, no, everything is good, things are good.
00:56 I just don’t know how to manage. I don’t know how to cope. I had a friend and he asked me, he said, you’re probably
just afraid of being rejected.
00:56 I completely denied it. I was like, there’s no way I could see your point, but not for me. And it just took time for
me to process a lot of these things.
01:18 And yes, that was one of the underlying beliefs that I wasn’t willing to be rejected. I was afraid of being rejected,
that I won’t be loved, that people can leave me, that I’m helpless, that I can handle the failure, other rejections,
that will they love me, that I’m broken, that I need something to fix in myself. All these things playing around a
narrative beneath the actions, beneath the things that they’re happening, having me show up in a specific way that I
wasn’t reading myself.
01:52 Welcome everybody, to another episode from Inside Trezos. My name is abuse and allowed to challenge myself and those
around me for the purpose of growth. This podcast is about helping you to heal, to change and grow.
02:04 In the previous couple of episodes, we talked about beliefs and empowering beliefs about beliefs. We said that
beliefs are made up. It’s a thing that we consider as true, that is right for us at times, partially based on
reality, but actually it excludes a big part of reality.
02:09 We said that beliefs are powerful. Beliefs have emotion, they have energy, emotion. They dictate the way that we
behave, the way we show up, the things that we say, the things that we do, and how we relate with ourselves and the
02:32 In the last episode, we also talked about empowering beliefs that exist within us all and how those kind of beliefs
can actually be the wind in ourselves that keeps pushing us and allowing us to be more ourselves to be more empowered
to do the things that we want to be doing, to operate more from a frame that we feel safe and certain about ourselves
and whatever is going on in the world. There’s that sense that comes from empowering beliefs. And we gave a few
examples, but this particular episode is about limiting beliefs.
03:02 Irrational beliefs is something that prevents us from reaching our goal. It’s something that has a reason, but it’s
not very reasonable. So it’s illogical, it has logic, but the logic doesn’t make sense.
03:15 There’s no reason behind it. But when we see it, it makes sense that one plus one gives us two. When I believe this
and I’m behaving like this, this makes sense.
03:25 So it does lead one thing to the other, but actually it is lacking reason and that’s a big part of why we suffer. So
it usually tends to impact us in a way that is a self defeating behavior. It’s a way that it limits ourselves.
03:39 It can bring up what we might call unhealthy emotions. It can bring up intrusive thoughts. And again, as with any
thought and it’s a habitual thinking pattern that serves us in one way or another.
03:39 It might feel irrational, it might feel outer, it might feel that this is not serving us. But usually there’s a
beneficial factor to the way that we’re thinking and to that belief. What happens though, when we’re taken into
perspective is that we get to see that they tend to be more harmful to our wellbeing rather than to our benefit.
04:13 So they get to be to a detriment. All of us have irrational and limiting beliefs within us the same way that we have
empowering beliefs in us. We all have them within us.
04:23 It’s just whether we are aware of them and how much they play out and to what degree they play out. That is a big
distinction from person to person because it just varies and it might vary on specific areas of your life. You might
have empowered beliefs on a specific area of your life but then you can have a limiting belief in a different one
which doesn’t really apply on the first one.
04:44 We also have like life scripts and beliefs that are deeply embedded, core beliefs about ourselves, about the world
that we definitely, most of the times have learned through our childhood and growing up. And these are things that I
need usually a lot more work, a lot more attention. But again, as with everything, we can learn to get better, we can
learn to change them and we can learn to come from a new place instead of being stuck oh, this is what happened.
05:08 This is my limiting belief. What do you expect me to do? It’s actually yes. Actually, there is a lot that we can do,
a lot that we can try for us to progress and grow as human beings.
05:18 The limiting beliefs usually kind of hide in the shadows, the lurk behind the scenes. You can’t really see them. You
can’t really hear them.
05:26 And then all of a sudden they just show up and you’re like where did this come from? Why was I behaving like this?
How did that happen? So it is natural that we get triggered. Remember in the previous episode we talked about
inactivating an event. So depending on the event on the situation, it could be simple things such as a way someone
looks at us.
05:46 They could create a huge cascade of beliefs showing up and emotions coming out many times. Limiting beliefs can
create a feeling of fear, not necessarily, but they create a threat. And that threat stops us dead in our tracks from
being able to do I think that we want to do.
06:04 So once again, whether we realize it or not. It’s something that runs in the background and dictates the way that we
behave and approach life. It affects our mindset, our attitude.
06:15 And yes, it can have big emotional impact in our perception, in our mental health. It can cause fear, anxiety,
depression. Beliefs can do all that.
06:24 Yes, they are almighty and powerful, but we’re even more powerful. In a moment, I’m going to take you through a list
of different limiting and irrational beliefs. While I do so, I want you to pay close attention.
06:34 I want you to tune in and listen to see if any of them hit any chord within you. And if they do, just note that down.
Some examples of limiting beliefs are I’m worthless, nobody loves me, nobody likes me.
06:45 I’m ugly, everybody likes me. I don’t deserve this. I’m not good enough.
06:50 I need to suffer. It’s all my fault. I can’t do this.
06:52 I’m incompetent, basically. I can’t handle it. I will fail.
07:00 It will fail. Who’s going to look after me? Will they love me? Who will love me? What’s wrong with me? Why me? What’s
going on? I’m a burden to others. People will judge me.
07:15 If you notice, you will see that there are a few themes. So it’s beliefs about us being helpless, whether that is
personally incompetent, vulnerable or inferior to other people. There is the theme of being unlovable and that can be
really deep core belief for us and in concrete fear that we’re not likable, that we’re incapable of being loved and
to be in intimacy or that we are worthless.
07:43 This is, I feel something that shows up all the time again and again for all of us. I would say that there is a
specific area in our lives that we feel that we don’t have the belief that we are significant enough and we’re not
worthy enough. Or if we were to do something, we’ll be unworthy.
07:57 Or if when we don’t do something will be unworthy or the way that other people we react will mean that we are worthy.
You see, again, we have this play of meaning. Meaning taking place behind the scenes.
08:11 Although we’re not consciously aware of it. A lot of times I can get in the way, I can create different emotions.
There are many different ways and techniques in which we can uncover a limiting and irrational beliefs.
08:24 The thing is first of all, to set the stage for that. This is not about creating blame and a victim strategy. It’s
more about empowering our social understanding.
08:33 Again, what is running beneath the surface that is driving this behavior. It’s also we can point the finger and say
oh, this is learned from this person and this I have been doing it none of that. It’s about noticing the impact,
noticing the emotional reaction, noticing the thoughts that get created as a result of holding that belief.
08:51 You can take one of those beliefs from above and that it would be one way of you approaching this. So okay, this
belief resonated with me. So like example I’m a burden to others when I think that I’m a burden to others, how do I
behave? What kind of thoughts am I having? What’s my experience? Like what kind of emotions get created? Am I likely
to ask for help? How does it make me truly feel about myself? Am I feeling worthy? If I’m a burden to others, I’m not
really feeling as worthy.
09:22 This is a bit rationalizing getting hold of the belief in a cognitive level. There is also the result of us being
able to experience, experience it within that belief, both the positive and the negative. To be able to get into it
and be alright in its presence while being aware of the truth.
09:41 And again, a good way to see limiting beliefs. One was like we went through the list of beliefs another way. What is
the recurring problem that keeps showing up in my life? What is the same problem I’ve been having to deal with on a
day to day basis? What is the belief behind that? What am I believing about myself or this other person or the world
or the situation? What’s showing up for you? Because again, it’s individual.
10:08 When we distill them, they kind of all lead to the same place. They are of the same essence. But the way that they
get verbalized and the way they get presented in ourselves is different for each one of us.
10:21 And yes, sometimes they might overlap and at its core, again, they’re essential elements. They relate to the same
road. But how are you experiencing it yourself? Where are you experiencing limitations? Where do you feel that you’re
experiencing irrational beliefs? Have a look at that within you now for some of you might help you to look into your
past and try to see what the activating event is.
10:47 When did this start in my life? Why do I believe this? And I will tell you that this can help you up to a certain
point in having cases that helps people in the long run. What I have discovered is the more reasons we find why we
are where we are, the more we keep doing what we don’t need to keep doing. So the point for me is to be able to
uncover what’s running beneath the service in order for you to be able to see what’s going on, not to judge yourself,
not to judge their beliefs, not to judge your rules.
11:19 Many limiting beliefs come in forms of rules. I should do this. I have to, I can’t, I need to I should always be like
11:22 I need to get this right. And from this you can see the perfectionistic tendencies that you might have. I need to get
it right, because if I don’t get it right, I’m not good enough.
11:38 Again, these are equations of mind creates. That not necessarily true. There is merit to be taking time to create
things, but also if it’s stopping us from creating and it keeps us stuck and we never get to create the thing that we
want, then you see how it’s creating a limitation.
11:54 So it also depends on the angle we’re looking at things. In the next episode, we’ll be covering more about how we can
uncover the beliefs and how we can dive deeper into them. But for now, you could also have a look at this and how do
I know this is true? How does my mind make sense of this? And a very simple way to do this is, for example, I’m
helpless, right? That is like the essential belief.
12:20 It could be more abstract. Like, I feel I can’t do this, it’s impossible for me. But it’s just like for this example,
I know that I’m helpless because or I know that nobody loves me because I don’t just start writing things down.
12:22 I want you to go with this, go with this from the standpoint of realizing that that’s what’s running and it might
feel true. We said beliefs feel true to us, but also know deep inside you that this is not true. So you don’t get
dragged down, so you don’t get to spiral down.
12:57 Just do it as an exercise to see what comes out. It’s as if you put some commands into your computer and that
computer spits up. At first you might say, I know that nobody loves me because there might be nothing there.
13:07 Then you might get a huge list of things. It can be external, it can be internal, it can be all sorts of things. Just
write them down and see.
13:16 These are statements, embedded commands within my system. Knowing that can change where you’re standing at, seeing
that how it plays out, and knowing that when it comes into the future and these things start playing out, whether
it’s concrete or abstract, it doesn’t really matter. But you’ll be able to spot it, you’ll be able to be more aware
13:39 You’ll be able to understand that it’s stories that they play out. And the more they play out, the more they get
empowered, the more they impact us. And that’s why we can start slowly, slowly disengaging from that view that nobody
loves me, learning to love ourselves more.
13:54 Actually, I’m not loving myself right now. By speaking to myself that way, by believing these things, I’m not loving
myself again. It’s ways of seeing things, choosing different perspectives, different angles to look at what’s playing
14:10 And most of all, understanding that these are things that change. They change from situation to situation, from
minute to minute. Some of these beliefs, like I said earlier, they can be core beliefs.
14:16 Some one might be playing out in many areas of your lives, but now that the other people who have been there and
changed their lives know that other people who have been in a good side and then they’ve changed to this. Limiting
and irrational beliefs. We often see that with depression, for example, and anxiety.
14:36 Like we’re good one moment, the next moment things start to drop down. What happened? What changed? I like to see
irrational thoughts as a mathematical equation. I said that earlier because there is a certain logic to it.
14:52 It might not make sense. A lot of times when I’m working with people, I see it and I’ve seen it with myself. All of a
sudden a sentence comes up, a sentence that fulfills that belief.
15:02 And see, we can tell like this doesn’t make sense and people don’t even want to speak it. It makes sense. Why would I
say that? But it’s what’s running the show.
15:12 Say, don’t buy into it. Don’t say all the time, oh, this is my belief and that’s why I need to say no. Okay, but when
the chance comes for you to verbalize it, so you can hear that energetic imprint that is playing out within you,
because believes have energy, they have gravity.
15:31 And when this garbage is running in, you get garbage out. You’re not going to get anything good out of it. And
knowing that, it excludes a lot of facts that exist outside of awareness.
15:42 In those moments, we’re not really connected with the whole truth. But this imprint takes a huge brawl into how we
behave, into how we feel, how we experience ourselves. Most of all, how do I experience myself? I talk about how we
experience the world.
15:46 But most of all, how do I experience myself within this world? When I shut my eyes and the world starts to fade? When
I’m by myself, how do I experience that? What are the things that are running from within me? As my friend Albert Ali
said, if something is irrational, that means it won’t work. It’s usually unrealistic. In conclusion, limiting beliefs
or irrational beliefs will always show up in our life.
16:29 Rational beliefs are full of emotion, the same way that empowering beliefs are, but they tend to lack reason. And the
problem again is the impact that I create. A belief as a belief is always a belief.
16:41 It’s just a coin with two sides. We tend to judge it as positive and negative but it’s like what is the detriment?
It’s the same thing with habits. If I have a habit I can see whether this is helping me.
16:53 So I might be working out. You see again what we talked about in previous times, the extreme. If I’m working out
every single day and I’m 100% every single day that is to my judgment I’ve started to being addicted to this good
16:58 If I never get out of the sofa because this is nice. It’s the same thing as being stuck in an irrational belief. Many
times these beliefs cannot be stemming from childhood and experiences that we have had in our life.
17:21 And remember this is the meaning that we’ve created at some point in time. It had a lot of emotion. Usually it has a
lot of emotion or pounded.
17:21 And right now the way it shows up is an automatic response. It comes up, we execute. It comes up, we execute is what
we say in hypnosis.
17:39 It’s a posting hydrogen suggestion. Once the bell rings with pavlov as you’ve known, like the dog starts salivating
it just happens. Something triggers us.
17:49 We just responded that way. But there is a reason behind this and we can process those emotions, we can process those
thoughts and we can start freeing ourselves and seeing that irrational beliefs usually have an ulterior motive behind
them. There’s something that we’re trying to get.
18:05 There is something that we’re getting despite it being causing us pain. Sometimes it’s love, sometimes it’s safety,
sometimes it’s certainty. But different things.
18:13 Look back into the episode of our needs. Our human needs are a few of them. Again look into them because believe the
tiein really closely to that we’re trying to fulfill our needs.
18:26 It’s not that we’re doing these things because we really like it but there is a reason behind it. So on one level
they work for us. And one belief that really plays out many times is that of undefelective.
18:43 I told you that this is a theme that I’m broken. This is a self development, personal development trap as well. That
I need to become someone else, that I need to be someone better.
18:53 And so when that happens then I’ll be loved, then I’d be worthy. Then I’d be good enough. Well guess what? That day
18:53 And again it’s moving a bit past the beliefs and singing into our core who we truly are. Understanding that belief,
playing with that belief. Knowing also that we never be perfect.
19:10 That’s the other extinction. Oh I’m always perfect. Everything’s going to be fine now.
19:14 It’s finding that balance and avoiding creating the judgment when we see those beliefs starting to practice selflove
selfacceptance. Sometimes you have to be firm enough with this nonsense that I’m not good enough enough. This has
nothing to do with me.
19:32 So by allowing those thoughts and emotions to pass through, observing them, witnessing there, being there, and seeing
them for what they are, we can slowly begin to change them again. Awareness can just turn the pains, because all of a
sudden, what was playing out, we can finally see it uncovering a limiting belief. There’s no reason to keep acting
out on that belief.
19:57 It’s definitely the first stage to change. In the next episode, we’ll dive deeper into uncovering and overcoming
limiting beliefs and how we can change the negative into the positive. And that is a common language.
19:57 It’s not my favorite, but this makes it very simplistic. I’m here to help you heal, change and grow. If there’s
something that resonated with you, something that you need help with, perhaps with beliefs, give me a shout at inside Treasures, and of course, my website, If you found any of these messages useful and inspiredful, and you think someone could benefit
from that a loved one, a friend share the messages and wisdom to them and allow that wisdom to spread to those around
you, because you never truly know how that will impact them. Thank you for tuning in to another episode from Inside
My name is fabulous. And until next time, my friends, let peace guide your life, let love guide your heart and reason
guide your thoughts.
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