How to believe in myself?
Learn how to build your self belief from the ground up. Whether you think you go it or not. This episode will keep you on your top game.
Close a door and another one will open. Right?
As long as you can get yourself to close that door. What happens when we are stuck and never close that door?
This episode is for you if
You are on a relationship that doesn’t server you;
You are on a career path that doesn’t serve you;
You need to make a shift in your life but you can’t get yourself to do that.
You find it hard to make decisions
Join me in this episode to demystify the art of making decisions and closing doors.
Closing a door is a simple notion, it is about leaving things behind and moving on. Many times in life though, things don’t work that way.
In this episode we will explore what is it that creates this lack of movement on our part. What is keeping us stuck?
Make sure you stick with the episode as I will give you a powerful strategy to make decisions and stick with them.
Now, you can listen to this episode and close the doors that you need to in order to be free from the past.
When that other door opens you will be ready!
0:07 Closing a door
0:35 Stuck between worlds
3:09 Lucky Luke & the Daltons
4:09 Where does indecision stem from?
6:02 Connecting with our intuition
10:29 A strategy to make decisions
15:43 Napoleon Hill Quote
16:26 Closing thoughts
19:18 What door must you close?
20:18 End of season 2
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Sometimes, sometimes we just need to make certain decisions. We just need to close certain doors and move on. Welcome everybody to another episode from inside treasures.
My name is Phoebus and I love to challenge myself and those around me for the purpose of growth. This podcast is about helping you to heal, to change and to grow this particular episode is all about making decisions, and closing doors.
And this was exactly what was happening for me see I was stuck between decisions or stuck between two words in my life. On one sense I was trained and
I have been working really hard to be a web developer, and then I had this other strand in my life of self development or self growth of becoming a coach, but I kept going back and forth from each one of these things and actually could not really decide what it was that I want to do, I wanted to do both, because I like both things so why should I just choose one I just couldn’t really get it, I thought I can make this work.
The reality was that I had to close the door, and I had to move on.
And this happened over conversation with a friend, a friend, which we were going to sit together and actually build something in the web development sphere, and create something that we wanted to, because I was super excited doing that and even talking about it now I can get excited about that but that’s what was kind of keeping me from taking that decision.
Till now, one day, we went away with my friend. At some point we stopped by the beach and we started talking with each other. And he asked me a question basically that he has asked me before, just told me.
So where are you up. What are you up to do you think this is still going to happen. That wasn’t the first time, he asked me a question, he had asked me that question before.
I was kind of done where I was told him I still feel that we can make this work. The time was passing by the time has passed by on this incident. And we just hadn’t made it happen.
More I just realized how much more I was actually more invested into helping other people to grow my podcast into other people through coaching that they hadn’t really thought about it for a very long time for certain that I had to make a decision I had to close the old door into the web development world.
So I did a conversation, I said look, truth is I’ve been meaning to make this work for a long time. And I know you’ve been excited, and I’ve been excited, and actually haven’t been wanting to let you down.
The truth is, heart isn’t fully in this truth is that at the moment, this is something that gets in the way of what I want to create what I had to do was close the door was vocalize the things that come to me again and again because I didn’t just think of it that day was something that was happening for me was coming and then the tide would go in and forget about it.
We’ll come back, avoiding making a decision. I was avoiding closing the door, sometimes can become very confusing. You want to go somewhere, you want to do something we want to create a chain.
But the truth is is, as we grew up, we built all these habits, we built all this leaves about ourselves, about the world, all these things that we kind of carry around.
And what that reminds me of is a cartoon that I used to watch when I was a little boy can look, which they had the adulterants and there were the criminals to carry them put them to jail, and then they will always have this big iron balls chained to their feet will kind of hold it in the hands and try to walk around because they couldn’t do much with them, they couldn’t really run away because they always have this big iron balls, holding them down.
That’s how I see things in life.
A lot of times with myself and those around me idea is, how can we cut off those chains and actually get going, and moving to the direction we want to go without having to drag all this weight, having to drag all this baggage.
Where does this indecision really stem from. Where is it that when we have dilemma of doing different things when we know, perhaps that we should just make a decision and close on door, and move on.
What happens when we start to think about that. That’s not for the people who are decisive and then just to make a decision and move on.
This is all for those of us who actually find it very hard to decide on things I find it very hard to let go and move on into something else, I find it very hard to close the door. For most people, this is really based in Go, and fear
to kind of come into play and they don’t allow us to make those decisions, the fear about this is a fear of making a mistake.
Three of this is not going to work out if we have, how will I make it How will I manage. What if I miss out in that environment of fear we get down and we get uncertainty as well.
And these are like the siblings of fear they come along and they’re like okay now we’re going to make sure that you stay where you are because we’re going to give you more doubt and the Senate team and more fear, then it can also be agreed on one at all, I can have it all, why not.
Should I not have it or why should I close the door, and move on. The big thing like that’s also underneath that is attachment willingness that we really attached to the thing that we want to really attached to the thing where we’re at. We don’t want to let it go. By not letting go, we get stuck.
Know what comes from that as well as how we find ourselves being stuck into our own heads we delay making a decision in the name of insecurity and uncertainty, keep entering to debate that we don’t need to enter within our minds.
Of course, if we’re busy debating, keep losing on that new decision, find ourselves being trapped in our heads, not taking action, not closing those doors, going back and forth all the time.
Hello I understand where this is stemming from what is it that we can actually do about it I want to draw a key distinction here about connecting with your intuition when you’re making decision connecting with your intuition. You have to close doors, because basically I thinking.
Intuition is going to fly guess, do we need to make a change happens in a lot of different ways. Having that repeated thought. No two days in a row, week after week, here and there. Something that yourself is telling you that you need to change about this. Learning to tune in and listen.
Now when I’m referring to intuition, I’m referring to that gut feeling, to the heart feeling, gives us a sense of the truth, subsea monitor, is that feeling within us that we can sense without having to think, having to rationalize what is true for us now. Remember that intuition, doesn’t mean impulsive.
Having a feel for like gut feel for what you’re feeling in your heart actually taking a gauge within you to make sure that something is where it needs to be. It’s not about being impulsive.
It’s not about being highly emotional because when we’re in that space of being highly emotional and impulsive, it can be a lot of fun. Sure, it can also mean that we have zero logic.
When we go with our intuition, we can be spontaneous, can appear as if you’re impulsive but actually we’re following through, something that we feel inside as being true. Is that kin distinction within you. Try to understand the form woman really let us subtle in in a deeper level.
You know that when you’re looking within. Understand your gut feels what your heart feels what you’re getting is all the distill knowledge. They can give you that quick temperature you to know where you’re at, doing that we know whether we should keep going with something, or whether we should close the door. We can sense that deep within us.
There’s no reason to rationalize, no reason to think about. There’s no reason to look at pros and cons and all this stuff which can be very very useful, and that might be something that you can use as far as closing the door down on the things that you’re doing, the more you make those decisions, the more you lean into understanding how you feel within, you’re going to become more and more sensitive, that sensation of how it feels inside you.
By doing that, learn to trust it more and more, because we’re listening to it, we’re making decisions. Whenever the decision takes us somewhere else was not the desired place or it might appear as if it’s about places actually taking us to where we need to be at.
Sometimes we send away those feelings of orientation is giving us, we kind of numb it down so our intuition will give us a hint it will give us a response and we kind of push it away.
On this occasion, it’s like we’re pushing away in the wrong way, because it’s actually telling us what we understand to be true for us, and that’s what’s the most important thing is true for me.
It’s about connecting with our intuition and our inner truth. The more we listen into that, the more that we allow that to lead in our life, more sensitive we become has to do with how much trust and faith with having it.
Remember that practice things into your life, and actually remember the times that you had just faith into that voice that came from within you, you tend to have that faith, start applying a little bit of faith.
With time listening to it and having faith that is true for you that it’s good for you to build that belief that will lead to the trust that will lead into an deep knowing it’s going to be okay.
What this voice is telling you is actually going to help you.
You will be okay. And whatever it is that you’re doing, will be okay to say this is running a little bit further, making decision and closing doors. I felt it was an important element for us to take away, it fits so nicely with closing doors, and making decisions because I have to check in on ourselves.
There’s no version of the truth. What do we feel within us. That’s right. What do we feel within us, that’s wrong, maybe wondering that okay I get it, like I understand why this is happening.
The standard I need to trust myself more and my intuition was telling me train myself more into that by basically putting myself in those situations. How do I exactly those doors. Exactly, make decisions that can help me.
When it comes into making decisions, particularly when it has to do with closing doors, other things that I found important is for us to feel grounded off ties with making those decisions, especially when it’s based on fear and insecurity and uncertainty, not really holding down, we’re not really grounded into where we are.
If we’re not grounding and we’re kind of dangling up in the air, it’s very hard for us to be able to make that decision because you’re not stepping on anything.
That’s why sometimes it takes a long time for us to really go down low, till we can actually put our feet nice and steady on the floor were nice and steady on the floor when we feel grounded.
That is a metaphor, but also, it applies into how we do that within us. Number one rule for me, for this strategy to work is, find the way to get grounded. And the way to quiet and down yourself into your mind, feel more present.
The here and now you’re meditating, whether you’re using mindfulness. You can do this after you exercise, some of you’re too tired and you still have that stamina within you that behind you.
The whole point is to feel supported, that sense of support. The simplest thing to do is just stop whatever you’re doing. Take a few breaths. Slow down. Number one, get grounded. Number two is to acknowledge your attachment to what it is. Am I attached to, is a really great question to get started and get going.
What am I really attaching myself to please that things that I kind of keep wanting to keep and I can’t let it go because if I could, I will close the door right so there’s something for me I need to get lost in this bit can just allow yourself to come up with something.
What is it, what am I attaching myself to just acknowledge so that’s what it is. Next step, optional is figure out what it is that you want instead. Now sometimes we really don’t know what we want instead. That’s why it’s optional. Sometimes the way to find out what we want this step is to close that door, it is lean in, it is to move on.
Start I’m no longer willing to do this, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m no longer willing to do this. I’m waiting for the answers to appear, into the future. Right now, I’m take this firm, vision, I’m no longer willing to do this anymore. That’s because the door.
You know what your next step is, or you want to spend the time to figure out, that’s fine, go further with that because I won’t give your mind a new direction that you can head towards. Once you have that once actually your previous step tells you that I just need to close the door now. We have to do again through that grounding position through that supportive position of supporting ourselves, to make a decision.
Decisions are super powerful in the way that we look at things, and other we said, we’re talking about decisions. This is the decision, deciding to decide what it is that we’re deciding makes sense to decide. Still not enough, because usually, there’s certain things we need to do.
And it’s about us, leaning in, with that commitment and saying, I’m going all in.
And those of us might still be doubt but I’m feeling certainly myself because of trust and myself have the ability to make this work, know that I can close this door, and I can move on now will be completely fine key thing to remember here is that you have to stick with our decision.
Even if the inclination comes to cold back into what was even if the inclination comes to just go back running opening the door and have to stick with it because we made that decision. It’s not whether we fail so we might just go back a little bit but then it’s like okay.
Actually, I told myself that I’m taking this decision of closing the door to this past behavior into this past thing that I’ve been doing to whatever that is closing the door, and I am committed to stay there is a caveat to this whole strategy I know some of you might be like okay intuition I get it but sometimes I don’t have enough information.
Sometimes you just need to think about it a bit longer, so that I say cool, some more time. How much longer do you need to give yourself a deadline, because otherwise you will end up being open ended, and you keep going and going and never making that decision ever closing that door.
I will tell you from my personal experience, it is not worth it at all. Reason is, you will lose a lot of valuable time in which you could be discovering new things. My friend Napoleon Hill used to say successful people make decisions quickly and change them. Very slowly.
Successful people make decisions very slowly change them often. Quickly, means that we never make up our mind. What keeps changing from one thing to the other all the time, never stick into something or make a decision, clean, listen to our gut feel our intuition. Then when we slowly change them still adapt them maybe perhaps to where we’re going.
When it comes into closing doors, you have to be firm. We have to be decisive, you have to be bold. You just have to make the step of actually saying, that’s it. Just remember that the whole point is not to always make the right decision. The point is to make decisions.
The point is to close those that are no longer serving us and sometimes they will feel odd because we’re in a new place. What are we doing when we’re closing doors and we kind of looking behind us if we’re driving, and we keep looking.
A rearview mirror. And it’s not like we taking the short glimpses to make sure okay we’re in the right place though no cars coming. But actually we fixate looking backwards. We’re looking backwards, of course we’re not looking where we’re going up into trouble.
That’s why it’s important to dedicate ourselves to that decision that we make when we close the door, decisive now, we’ve decided that we’re moving forward with faith and trust and knowledge that it will be fine. Remember that most doors, they can be reopened.
Anyway, there are very few things that have been shut the door. We are unable to reopen and again, that doesn’t mean move ahead, half hearted towards the thing that you want know that at the very back of your head, your mind and remember that.
It’s cool, you know what actually went really that terribly wrong can always turn around, come from nowhere willing to turn around anymore. And that’s why I’m shutting the door.
That’s why I’m moving on, because I’ve made something else more important. I’ve made it pretty important for me to shut this door to say more. When I go to that I given my own fully present to the new possibilities.
I don’t know where I’m going. Just give that sensation to myself, knocking for more alive accom for more supportive decision that I have made.
Stop fretting over it. Just carry on with it, making decisions and closing door is another one of those skills that we can build, the more that we use them, the more we train ourselves, the more that we build them better we become the better we get the same with our intuition, and these things they link together.
Again, it’s a matter of practice, tend to share things that we can build to sort of thing stuff we can just try and try and try again until we get better at them.
Place breadth, with depth, and then we start closing doors, we started limiting our options, we start limiting our range of course we limit where energy goes instead of it being scattered throughout help to nourish it and cultivate it also drive it focus into what matters most.
You currently you them once you go all in on once you close the doors that have been dragging you back, will find peace you will find clarity and certainty, you your soft few want to fly.
You have to let go of the weight so you have anchors, keeping you back anchors that are keeping you in town. Store, do you need to close in your life decisions, you need to make in your life.
What are you currently doing is certainly not serving you, distracting you, who you are, perhaps from who you want to be in your work, relationships, Obsolete habits, attitudes, and limiting belief mindset, says, What is it for you. Do you need to change a door shot. Think about that.
Remember that when you close the door. Now the one will open. And without a doubt, you will be in a new in a new place with new possibilities for you to take advantage of in a new place, lighter and more clear about where you are in your life.
Now I’m not really closing the door into this podcast, but I am closing the door to this season. So that’s the end of season two of our study episodes from inside treasures. It’s been a great pleasure, creating those, and hope you’ve enjoyed them as much as I have.
I’m here to help you heal change and grow. If there’s something that resonated with you something that you need help with, contact me or connect to me on Instagram at the @insidetreasures.
If this episode was meaningful to you in any way, and you’re not the messages in them, perhaps you would like to share them with other people share the messages, and also you can share this podcast, and that way they can benefit the same way that you have.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode from Inside Treasures. My name is Phoebus, and until next time, my friends, let peace guide your life, love guide your heart and reason guide thoughts.
Photograph by Florian Wehde
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