How to believe in myself?
Learn how to build your self belief from the ground up. Whether you think you go it or not. This episode will keep you on your top game.
How many times do you find yourself looking for guarantees that things will work out?
Do you shiver and shake in the sight of failure?
If you do know this one thing, you are not alone.
Listen to this episode and find out how to find the belief and certainty you need to move things forward.
When we go about our day to day life, we often are looking for approval and certainty.
We want to know that our efforts won’t go to waste, if there is an chance they might do we often get disheartened. If someone else tells us that this won’t work out, then we get disheartened.
We listen to others and abandon our efforts towards our dreams and goals. In that way we feed the self doubt and weaken ourselves.
But what if:
How would life be different for you if you were able to find certainty before you begun?
2:33 Authority figures & Locus of control
3:21 Stop looking for authority figures
3:42 You are the authority in your life
3:53 Beauty of owning our own decisions
4:30 In life there are no guarantees
5:02 Why start if there are no guarantees?
5:12 Attached to results
5:27 Looking for reassurance
5:54 Why doesn’t it need to work out?
6:09 We grow by experience
6:25 Build certainty in yourself
7:16 With experience there is challenge
7:46 You still succeed in a personal level
8:01 Risk creates fear and thrill
8:27 Get feedback but also hold ownership
8:38 Build character and confidence
8:57 Circle of growth
9:11 Kill procrastination
9:46 The faster you act the sooner you ll learn
9:54 How our emotions and thoughts get in the way
10:24 Illustrating thoughts descending to materialise in action
10:40 Forget why
11:41 Leap to the in unknown
11:45 Two basic beliefs that will propel you
11:53 You can figure it out
12:25 I can handle what comes my way
13:32 Leap forward into the unknown with these 2 beliefs
13:44 Find certainty from within
13:52 You are able and capable to do what it is that you want to be doing
14:03 Seth Godin Quote
14:17 Thank you
Most of us know that when a pilot is getting ready to fly a plane or a helicopter, they have a special way of starting, they’re looking at all the sprites signals, and the running proper tests in order to ensure that the aircraft or the helicopter is going to be fine while on flight.
This is called taking precaution. It’s pretty much, putting your seatbelt before you start driving. The same thing applies when we’re learning to drive a car. I remember when I was learning about driving a car I was told that before you take a journey, especially a long one, make sure you check your tires check your oil, make sure you have petrol, basic stuff.
I know, but it’s just doing the basic checks. Now the pilot or the driver, they have a destination in mind, they have a place where they want to head to have a place where they want to end up. This is not about being optimistic or pessimistic whether things will work out. It is about making sure we’re starting from the right place, Making sure that if things were to go wrong, we would be able to pick them up in advance, but there’s a specific set of checks, and it’s not a whole list that keeps ever evolving the destination remains the same. There is this underlying belief that we’ll make it to a destination, otherwise we wouldn’t stop.
There is this assumption is reassurance this internal belief that tells us we’re most likely going to make it. And we don’t often actually question that, which is a good thing I would say. But I like driving and flying in life many times, we think of a place that we would like to go get we don’t start and heading towards that direction, but might be because we’re looking for too many checks. First of all, it’s about the reassurance, we are definitely going to make it to a destination.
You’re looking for certainty in all the wrong places. Are you looking externally to find that certainty for you in your life. The goal so you want to achieve and the things that you’re trying to do. So, this is an episode for you.
Welcome my friends to another episode from inside treasures. My name is Phoebus, and I love to challenge myself and those around me, for the purpose of growth podcast is about helping you to heal, to change and to grow, particular episode is all about finding certainty in the right places.
Most of us look for words when we’re looking to find certainty about whatever it is that we’re trying to do. Some of us have been through the schooling system and in the schooling system, we’re pretty much conditioned on a daily basis to ask permission to ask permission from someone we deemed to be an authority, pop into our teachers and we say May I go to the bathroom, may I speak now may do this may do that may do the other, then we go home and we asked her parents, is it okay mommy if I do this, is it okay that if I do that for permission when we’re dealing with our kids.
Make them to be more thoughtful and more accountable towards their actions, takes away the control of what they do, spoken about the locus of control whether that control is internally or externally, that it’s something that is within our influence of control or not, that since many of us before we start doing something that we really really want, trying to find that authority to ask around to see if we can get approval.
See, it is okay, see if other people think the idea would work, we look again into our parents into our friends into someone we trust and we demon authority. Forget them we forget here is to remember that we are also the authority. We are the authority within our own souls, to be able to choose and make the choices that we want.
It’s a beauty that comes with owning up to our own decisions, there’s a beauty to comes with the growth of making decisions for ourselves or our sauce, taking counsel from other people.
Not in the sense that they dictate, they give us permission, whether we’re going to do what we want to do, whether you think it’s going to work, or getting that reassurance that yes you can go ahead. We’re capable, if we’re able to do that ourselves.
And by ourselves. And of course, reaching out getting some help getting feedback, salutely, those things can help. Not when we start off the gate. Many of us looking always is a guarantee, guarantee that these things that I’m working on, going to work is going to succeed, because if it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, then what will I do, you’re looking for guarantees is no your money back guarantee in life. This is not how things work in life.
This is something made up from marketing to ease of people’s defenses and say, Yes, can have your money back. We go ahead and buy
over there’s no guarantee then what’s the point of me starting How will I know that this I’m not even sure is going to succeed, what’s the point of doing this, what’s the point of starting life again many, many times we are attached to the results, I’m only going to do this, if I get that word on is spent if I get something good out of this, then I will go ahead and do it.
If this succeeds, then I can stop. What is the underlying condition that’s happening there is something going on, we’re looking for reassurance because we have have doubts that it will work up, We have doubts that this world benefits us benefit other people think to remember is that doesn’t need to work up we feel fat it needs to work out, otherwise is not worth our effort is a limiting belief that is something that’s stopping us from acting.
Why does it no need to work out, because every time we experience something new every time we put ourselves in a certain situation into something where we don’t know, it’s gonna work out or no grow. Brush human beings.
I experience, not by reading books, not by listening to cars actually experiencing things, putting ourselves in positions where we have to deal with difficult things, learn to grow in that uncertain environment, start to build certainty.
Certainty what certainty in home certainty in ourselves, meaning that we build trust in ourselves that we can move in concert in situations which we don’t know whether things will work out or not but still feel confident still feel reassuring towards ourselves, but this time instead of coming from another authority coming in from within ourselves.
You can see why this is so vital and important because we stopped relying so much on what other people think and whether other people will give us permission and the reassurance that we need, we can still give reassurance to ourselves, can still get people championing for lost, for sure.
We’re not relying on that, of course without duple strength. Temporary experience set of challenges that comes a set of growth that the only way to get to that is through acting.
Despite whether the fact, this is going to work or this is not going to work I think guarantee that you can get is that you will be able to learn something, but you will be able to craft your own self, to become more decisive more trustworthy towards yourself and more grounded and more certain, to yourself.
Otherwise words, the thing to remember right now is that whether what I’m trying to do succeed or fail, still succeeding in a personal level, might take a lot of time, it might take a lot of resources, it might take a lot of courage. That is what we perceive as risk.
Risk creates the fear and the doubt, we learn to step into that more times, we do that, risking, little by little, recklessly acting. Be willing to move forward towards the things that we want to experience in life. Take consistent steps towards that they feel uncomfortable. They feel out of our place thing and still with the feedback of those that we love, and also we care, and those are we serve.
Most of all, also self centred in the sense that we can feel okay in that place. From there we start to build more confidence, because now every time we do that, build our character. We become stronger, or trustworthy towards ourselves. So this is about building trust with ourselves, building our strength, and then doing it over and over and over again, because guess what, anything you any dream that we have any hope any goal that we have, we first start, we have to deal with the same processes, we have to deal with the fear, the doubt, is this going to work with the guarantees to trust ourselves can also kill procrastination, it can minimize it for very much.
The reason is because we’re no longer looking for permission. We’re not looking for longer we’re looking at authorities outside of us to tell us it’s okay to tell us that we’re doing well, it just eliminates things opens doors. The trick here is when we try to do things we’re going to have those thoughts of doubt, we’re going to have those emotions of wanting to be reassured.
You can give that to ourselves back in a certain way, by being supportive towards yourself. The biggest thing to remember is, the faster you act
sooner, learn faster you act, the sooner you learn. Can you see where we start things that were doubtful and fearful about is that we start having those thoughts and those emotions that of course suppress our action. The idea is that it keeps suppressing our action and we can’t act because we want to act, but we can’t really act because we’re feeling afraid we get stuck into our heads.
We get stuck into our emotions we don’t know what to do, we’re chasing our own tail. And of course what happens. It’s stuck in the world to evolve and we can’t really act.
It’s stopping us from acting, that’s what procrastination really means having original thought but it’s clear, we’re trying to bring it out into action is an emotion that gets in the way there are certain thoughts they start to pop up but the original idea was pure in itself, just like the water running down the stream that too many obstacles, getting in the way we can sit around and talk about why we feel this certain way what it is that is going on who is responsible for that because it’s not ask or start acting can start getting that experience sooner we act, the sooner we get feedback faster we grow the faster we progress with first starting out.
Just building that courage. The courage and knowing that this is uncomfortable, this is uncertain, might be feeling fearful doubtful lalalalala all the stories, willing to take the steps. I’m willing to own it, willing to step up to it.
If we build courage to build strength, build trust, whether it works out, whether it fails, it really doesn’t matter, Because what we win total find great leap towards the unknown, and we build the courage to beliefs that are very key into our progress, and we can keep building again by acting first belief is that you will have the ability to figure it out. I will have the ability to figure it out, I might not know yet. I might not have the answers yet.
I will be able to figure it out. I will be asking someone else, whether that will be trying things out until they work, whether it will be reading a book, the time comes, and the time is right. I’m facing with a difficulty, I will be able to figure it out.
Second belief that is also crucial handle what comes my way similar to being able to figure things out. I can handle whatever comes my way. Sometimes when a start. We’re like, I don’t know how this will work out. Again it goes back into fitting into doubt insecurity, not knowing what’s going on, the unknown, when we know that we can handle whatever comes our way when we come in those situations from that place, that belief that certainty because we built it and cultivated and tried again again again again.
Building that courage, building that belief that yes, I can handle anything that comes my way. I can figure out whatever I need to figure out, you’re equipped with such beliefs. You can do a lot of things, you can go after a lot of things because you’re kind of taking care of your base. You know that even if you go into uncertain situations, even if you go to places that you haven’t been before that that the fearful can handle it.
And if you don’t have the answers you can figure it how these two beliefs are pockets, we can go into the unknown we can leap forward, the more times we do it and the different places we apply it into our lives, then inevitably, we will find certainty, not from outside but from within, we’ll find that certainty that trust, the belief around cells were able and capable can now will ever it is that you need to be doing whatever it is that you want to be doing in the books of practice. We failed. Would it be worth the journey to trust yourself enough to commit to engaging with a project, regardless of the chance of success.
I’m here to help you heal change and grow if it’s something that resonated with you something that you’re finding difficulty that you’re trying to do and you’re trying to build that certainty or trust with yourself but you’re being kind of unable to fully get something that you want to get just over the hill with you.
Give me a shout on Instagram @insidetreasures or email me.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode from inside credit. My name is Phoebus, and until next time, my friends, this guide your life. Let love guide your heart and reason, get your thoughts.
Photograph by Nathan Dumlao from Unsplash
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